https://slama.dev/comeback/
You're not going to the Badger?
I am.
So why are you having bottled ones?
Appetizer.
Wait, I thought you wanted to enjoy draft beer today.
Enjoy draft?
Yeah.
Today more than usual?
Oh yeah.
Why?
The big bash isn't till tomorrow.
What do you mean tomorrow?
Tomorrow there won't be anything left?
Wait, Simona clearly said we'd get smashed there tomorrow.
She said the Badger would get demolished.
What?
Last beer.
No griping, the Badger is done.
Send it around.
The last beer from the Badger belongs to the most loyal regular.
Then the last beer arrives and none of us knows about it.
You talking to us again?
No.
Come on, don't be silly, bro, it's not our fault.
It is, because you don't care.
I happen to care.
Yeah.
So the Badger means nothing to you.
Six times a week pints, my puked-up toilets, and smoke bombs at every football match so the guys felt like they were in the cauldron.
And what about me?
You didn't bother me that much.
Bro, I'm not happy about them selling burgers here either, but I just can't do anything about it.
Because you're a coward.
So I'm supposed to chain myself to the fridge and swallow the key?
Like you in '75?
And why not?
Because I'm not crazy.
What happened in '75?
We were moving to Karlin and someone snitched on Ozzak that they don't serve minors there.
That's nonsense.
In Karlin they always served anyone.
And we found that out too, eventually we got there.
But before Dad dragged him out of the pub, he drank away the fridge with the chain.
Well, that's his protests for you.
At least I'm not a coward.
And what are you doing now to keep your favorite pub from closing, huh?
I need to chain myself up.
I'm telling you for the tenth and last time, unlock yourself right now and go home.
Never.
So that's why he wanted the key from me, that rascal.
God, that's my bicycle chain.
Why did you give him the key?
He said he wanted to go for a ride.
And that didn't seem weird to you?
It did.
He can't even ride that bike.
What do you mean he can't?
I ride it.
Is that the bike you walk to the post office with?
Look, Simona, it doesn't seem far on foot, but it's actually quite a hike.
Give me that key right now.
I can't.
I'd say the key will turn up at the earliest...
Tomorrow after lunch.
Dude, he swallowed it again?
The Smurf didn't really want to, but I helped him with a chaser.
You...
That's manly.
No, young man!
That's irresponsible!
I'm going to have an unlocked bike all night!
And do you know how they steal around here?
Yeah, they stole my pub!
Nobody would steal that bike.
At most for scrap.
It's got brass, different handlebars.
Horvat said brass prices went up.
Jesus!
So, who's in favor of all of us chaining ourselves here?
So that's two.
That's a clear win.
No, damn.
It's a tie.
Damn!
I don't want to.
We'll be heroes and I'll tell you where I hid the knitting needles.
Jesus, Sasha, cut this nonsense.
In the morning they'll cut Ozzak loose anyway and the pub gets demolished.
And we'll see what a hero you are when you explain to Kobra why you missed the test.
Mr. Ozzak will write us excuse notes.
Kobra is still there?
She taught you too?
Excuse notes don't work on her.
Once we had to rehearse with the band to open for the executioners and we had to practice.
I wrote that my brother and I had lice.
Kobra sniffed out where we were rehearsing and came to inspect our heads.
My brother got in big trouble for it.
Just Dad?
Luckily, I actually had them.
Wow, you really showed her.
Even Voracek couldn't do that to her.
He's a moron.
Actually, he had it all planned out.
Planned out?
Telling Kobra that three unknown men attacked him in the park and tied him to a tree with a belt?
If that belt hadn't been traced back to Sandy, it would've worked perfectly.
It wouldn't have, there'd have been a reconstruction, like when Krupackova claimed she was assaulted.
And Kobra proved that such a position doesn't even exist.
She moved up to an honorary third place on the Dutohlav ranking.
Right behind Lexa.
Voracek and I are tied.
Hey, Mr. Pacovsky, did you know the Mr. Dutohlav the ranking is named after?
He was the only student of hers dumber than Lexa and Voracek.
I swore I'd never work as a waitress again, but I'm not leaving my dishes behind.
Goodbye, Badger.
We spent the best years of my life together.
If you were a person, I'd spit in your face, you disgusting dive.
Let's go.
Hold on to this, uncle.
You won't need it on the toilet.
Mom, Mr. Ozzak isn't some amateur.
He's got this all figured out, right?
For sure.
Maybe one day I'll start missing all this.
You'll slap me a few times, right?
Lexa, come by in the morning and bring me a bottle.
Of what?
Doesn't matter, just make sure it's really big.
What's going on?
Thieving bastards.
Only this was left.
They actually stole the bike?
We're a nation of thieves.
At least tourists will stop photographing you on the way to the post office.
How can you make light of this?
It was an old wreck.
But mine!
It had collector's value.
You know Alla Pugacheva gave it to me?
I know.
But I don't know who Alla Pugacheva is.
I already called the police.
They'll be here right away.
Really?
Over an old Ukrainian bike?
Yeah.
They said they had nothing better to do.
I'm looking for someone in the culture department.
Department of Agriculture.
Oh, you've merged them.
Right, thanks.
Good morning, Divicova.
Lots of sunshine for your dry meadow.
Right, you'd rather need some rain.
Well then, may it rain for you.
No, no, I understand of course, it must be terrible when it hasn't rained for two months.
But why am I calling you?
I'm a music manager and I have an offer for you.
Surely you've heard that the famous singer Tommy Paci is planning a comeback tour.
Tommy Paci?
Yes.
No.
Well, I don't know if he's the one who looks like your agronomist.
Because I don't know what your agronomist looks like.
Does he have a mustache?
Then it's not him.
But maybe you'll remember his famous song.
You'll bite into me like rain.
So, you like it?
Excellent!
Well, I've never had a request for a concert in a field before.
And where will the audience be?
There won't be one.
Singing to the sky?
And how many times in a row?
Well, well, we're open to unconventional concerts.
Of course it depends on your budget.
Right.
No rain for two months, I understand.
Goodbye then.
What kind of an idiot are you, huh?
I don't get it.
I couldn't brake.
Can't brake a bulldozer.
Idiot.
A rabbit jumped out in front of me.
A rabbit, dude.
In the city.
Idiot.
No, it's the kind of transmission.
Slow is turtle and fast is rabbit.
A transmission for idiots.
And you can't even handle that.
And you're the bulldozer for the cleanup.
Start working then.
Boss, he said I shouldn't.
Idiot.
Don't you know that bulldozers shake their heads when they mean yes?
Should we take the second floor too?
No, boss.
Watch out for this.
Hey, Todor!
Grab a shovel and start working, otherwise we'll never demolish this dive.
Hey, he's on a chain.
So much for Bulgarians being unreliable.
Come on, can't we solve this like normal people?
They're people too.
Hey, Todor, don't be afraid of anything.
The big guy's got bolt cutters in the cab, he'll do snip snip and we'll start demolishing.
I'm not going anywhere.
Hey, he speaks Czech.
I can hear that too, idiot.
What do you mean you're not going?
I'm not going.
You're not Bulgarian?
So what are you doing here?
I'm protesting.
Protesting against what?
Against tearing down pubs.
Big guy.
This gentleman is protesting against us.
What do we do with him?
I'll go around him.
For God's sake.
Why me?
Why always me?
Why do I always get stuck with an idiot for a bulldozer operator?
And a job that's been screwed up from the start.
Look, we're going for bolt cutters and in a minute you'll be protesting outside.
Boss?
Yeah?
And how many bulldozer operators have you had?
Just you.
Police!
Coming!
Good morning, Mr. Pacovsky, Iva won't be going to school today, it's already half past seven.
Jesus.
Iva, get up, we overslept!
Iva, hurry up, we only have five...
Someone was supposed to have the alarm clock and phone here.
I naturally put all valuables in the closet for the night.
Jesus, you're really a total nutcase.
How dare you talk to me like that?
Your brother is chained up at a construction site, but you're freaking out about a pile of junk.
And because of you I'll be late for the test.
You should be really proud of yourself.
Iva, what is it?
Are you wearing pajamas?
I'd rather go to school in pajamas than miss the Civics test.
I'll change during break.
Ivushka, change here.
I'll write you...
We have Kobra.
Want her to come check our pipes?
Kobra?
Run.
How are you doing, Mr. Ozzak?
It's worse than I thought.
You're a hero.
But I won't last much longer.
Don't worry.
I won't leave you hanging.
I was afraid you'd forgotten about me.
About you?
I thought about it all night.
Me too.
And I've got it.
Hurry.
I'll protest with you and I'm not afraid of Kobra.
Got the bottle?
I'm right-handed.
Hello, have I reached Brno?
What do you mean you can't know, that it depends on where I'm calling?
I'm calling Brno.
I don't understand, I'm calling the wrong Brno?
Oh, Brno with an "i," right, I apologize, but that must happen to you a lot, doesn't it?
It doesn't.
Fine.
We could've been demolishing that kindergarten by now.
You'll pay for this!
I must have left them in the other bulldozer.
Leaves the bolt cutters in the other bulldozer?
Idiot.
You see that?
Now there's two of them.
Really?
Go to a hardware store and buy bolt cutters.
And make it snappy!
Or they'll start multiplying on us.
So...
Where'd you even get those handcuffs?
Don't tell.
They're Mom's.
From when she was a mounted police officer.
Seriously?
Yeah.
She's also got a whip and a harness at home.
But I didn't take those.
Hey!
You want to protest too?
Then turn around and get out of here!
Yeah!
Hello, Todor.
Hello, big guy.
Boss, it's far.
Can I borrow the bulldozer?
Well, that's interesting, pork fest.
No.
We don't accept payment in kind.
Goodbye.
Tomas, I've been waiting for you like for salvation.
I called you but your line was always busy.
I've been managing.
What happened?
We're a nation of thieves.
With a useless police force.
For God's sake, what happened?
I was robbed.
Jesus Christ, what did they take?
A bicycle.
And the police has been letting the culprit escape for 8 hours.
Is this about that bicycle of yours?
Yes.
Then don't worry, he couldn't have gotten far.
You think?
I also rode it to the post office.
But I have something for you that might cheer you up.
Your tour.
Do I have a new concert?
Yes, if you don't have a problem with heights.
I'm no Caruso, but...
It's a hunting festival in Zabonosy.
They want you to sing from a deer stand.
Nothing else available?
A kickoff at the stadium in Blsany, but I turned that down.
Why?
I used to play football, even Bohdalka envied my skills.
It's a kickoff for a new sewer.
I'll take the deer stand then.
Excellent.
When Ozzak comes, I'll pop to the post office and send the posters.
Well, that can wait.
Why?
Without the bike I'll be back in five minutes.
Yeah, but Ozzak won't be coming today.
It's kind of an exceptional situation.
You call your brother not coming in an exceptional situation?
He's protesting at the Badger, chained himself to the bar and swallowed the key.
And what's exceptional about that?
Don't worry, she's not that tough.
He's on strike, but don't worry, he'll get over it soon.
I seriously doubt that.
Ozzak's work ethic has always exhibited all the attributes of a strike.
It's just never been declared.
If this keeps up...
I'll form a union.
Yeah, first one and now already two.
This ain't no Palace of Culture.
We're supposed to be tearing down the pub.
Well, I'm waiting now.
So what the hell am I supposed to do?
No, I already asked about that.
No demands whatsoever.
Yeah, well, they want a bottle.
An empty one.
Well, what for I don't know.
Shove that bottle up your ass, you murderer!
Heroes!
So they don't want the bottle anymore.
And they're calling me a pub murderer.
Look, Mr. Hajek, I don't need this.
If there are kids chained up in that kindergarten, I'm done with this.
I must be dreaming.
So what's going on here?
So Shaun Bucek is actually demonstrating.
Who's that next to him?
Ma'am, you have no business here.
You recognized me, you owl of a professor?
Well, that mug of yours will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Look, madam, I don't know who you are, but take your little debate club and go somewhere, like a park.
This is a construction site!
Do you have a building permit?
Of course.
Outside in the bulldozer.
There's no bulldozer outside.
Well, because the big guy drove it to get scissors.
Naturally.
This is as absurd as when Buckova told me that Bucek was demonstrating against world globalization instead of attending my class.
It seems, however, that today is indeed inclined toward absurdity.
What are you doing here, Pacovsky?
I want my pub back.
I apologize, Buckova.
So you're here on behalf of a multinational corporation.
Help him, Buckova.
Multinational corporations are the engine of globalization.
To achieve their goals, they use international capital and exploit cheap labor, primarily from third world countries.
Jesus.
Those few Bulgarians...
So, yes.
And what has been your course of action so far?
I sent the big guy for scissors.
I obviously didn't teach you.
Otherwise you'd know that a civil protest requires...
So, the rest.
Yeah.
Bottles.
Empty bottles.
Without citizens.
Buckova.
Without police assistance.
Excellent.
So, what are you waiting for?
You're not protesting by any chance...
...just to skip the test?
No.
You know, you're lucky.
I happen to have it right here for you.
Professor, professor, couldn't we maybe take the test again?
Don't you have any more classes?
We have biology, practical study of urban birds.
I'll arrange it with colleague Dvorsky.
Feeding pigeons isn't in the curriculum anyway.
But I already took the test.
With a D.
So you'll be happy to improve it.
Well, Bucek, why aren't you writing?
Pacovsky will gladly help you.
Professor, we really need to use the bathroom.
I've had thirty students, but only one ever surpassed you in the brazenness of excuses.
Buckova.
Student Dutohlav, professor.
No, Marcelka, I know a Guinness record entry would help us, but I won't hang by my feet from a crane.
Not even over a pond.
Wait, they're here.
Finally.
You're the one with the bicycle.
Yes, come in.
You took your time, I hope it's not too late.
What's this?
A scent sample.
A scent sample?
For the dog.
What dog?
A police dog.
Ah.
So, your ID please.
Pull out form seventeen, Becka.
Twelve, surely? Seventeen is scrap metal theft.
Ah.
So where did you keep the bicycle?
In the basement.
There was no chain, so it was unsecured.
Hummingbird 9, do you read me?
Hummingbird 9, copy.
Are you at Horakova's yet?
Yeah, we're already investigating.
Forget that, we've got a two-oh-five at the Badger restaurant, Kestoci street.
Good grief, we don't have the equipment for a two-oh-five, have them send the fire department.
Firefighters are in demand these days, they all have day jobs, don't want to get dirty.
Excuse me, can I ask what a two-oh-five means?
Those are codes for dangerous situations, for example two-eleven is acid in a bathtub, two-nineteen is mayor in danger.
Man, I'm asking what two-oh-five means?
Protest by vagrants.
Poor thing!
See that?
Leaves his apartment unlocked and then wonders someone stole his bike.
Mr. Hajek, it's Burda.
Yeah, the pub.
Shhh, I already handled it.
I called the police.
Don't worry, they'll be right there.
I told them the big guy is going to take down half the block along with those lunatics.
What a great idea.
I made it up.
Ozzak!
Iva!
Quiet!
She's in the back grading tests.
Who, what?
Keep it down.
Yeah, I hear.
Where on earth did she come from?
And she gave me a test.
Bro, I can't take it here anymore.
Got the Smurf?
So what's going on here?
You know her too?
She checked my ears.
What the hell is she doing here?
Grading tests.
Is this place yours?
Well, it was, until this guy chained himself to the bar and refused to budge.
I really gotta go now.
Hey, this guy wants out.
Why haven't you cut him loose ages ago?
We don't have bolt cutters.
Right?!
Sorry.
Someone stole my bulldozer.
From you?
Right now?
How could someone steal your bulldozer?
I don't know.
I parked in front of Harold's and when I came back, it was gone.
Were you in a handicapped spot?
Damn.
You idiots!
Guys, are you nuts?
Can't you just cut me loose?
Just go around him and climb out.
No, that chain is mine.
One more word and I'll haul you in for a patrol.
They won't get away from me, you know that.
Hold on to this.
Well, it's gotten a bit...
Thin.
Where are the others?
They left.
Why?
I think they were afraid of you, professor.
And you're not afraid of me?
We are, actually.
But you stayed.
If I also found Bucek here with you, I'd start thinking that finally a generation has come that has courage, doesn't run away, and doesn't hide behind stupid excuses.
Sorry, I got locked in the bathroom.
Well, see, maybe you've held up after all.
Dude, I don't have the guts.
You do.
Yeah, and for what?
Maybe for writing that Vaclav Havel wrote "The Piss of the Powerless."
So it's raining now?
Oh, that's great.
So shall we set something up?
Ah, raining too much.
I'll call again then.
The dry region is out too.
So that just leaves Blsany.
Bro!
Where did you find it?
Right around the corner.
Just past the scrap yard.
What kind of barbarian would want to scrap this thing?
I know.
Some guy was hunched over it, reeked of gasoline and asked me for matches.
And I'll go buy a new chain right away.
Yeah.
Sorry.
One more thing.
Yeah.
You know what, bro?
You can keep it.
Really?
Awesome!